Sometimes I make sense; sometimes I just make a mess!

If you're on this website, you've viewed my profile; you've read my story. I'm a 45 year old manic-depressive woman on disability. Yes, my illness caused me to have to go on disability. I'm always trying to do "the right thing," with results not always matching my intentions. Sometimes, the intention is to do everything right, and the results are that I piss everyone off, including friends, family, and even myself! Ego plus mental illness plus misguided intentions plus emotion-driven actions equal mess, mess, and bigger mess! At this time, I'm in a custody suit to regain rights to my nine year old daughter that I lost due to repercussions from mental illness combined with alcohol use. Also, my mother-in-law has been in the hospital for a month and 1/2, because of a fall, which resulted in a broken back, then surgery to correct it, then intubation and ventilator dependency, and finally, tracheostomy. They do not understand why she cannot get off the ventilator. I suggested they test her for a possible viral infection; something she may have been exposed to. They refused, and that really pissed me off! When I start to feel this way, it is always wise for me to step back and allow my emotions to cool off, then re-evaluate the problem when I'm more calm, cool, and collected. As a matter of course, anyone with manic-depression could benefit from doing the same. This is something that I have learned over the course of my illness by comparing successes with failures, and seeing how I arrived at both! That's all for now, Ciao!